daringly doubtful

dare to doubt.

“There will always be someone who can’t see your worth. Just don’t let it be you, baby.”

It’s 3:11am. The night owl in me has kept my mind focused enough to share my thoughts so I’m taking full advantage of it.

Something I’m challenged with wayyyy too much; doubt. who actually likes to doubt? Hahaha, not me. But.. I have. We all have. We all do. No matter how positive we can try to come off, doubt somehow sneaks right on in (cute, reaallllyy cute). It’s natural, unlike 96.4% of society today. Let’s keep it that way though…natural + normal. I hope you don’t find yourself doubtful often, but if you do….NOOOO SHAME. !!!

I wanted to share that I’m thankful for my past doubts. They’ve helped create this mentality where I can look at doubt as a blessing. Okay, maybe not right away. I’ve come to accept and look at it as a gift but can + will admit that it has *without a doubt* spread like cancer at times in life. I’ll proudly say, though, that I work each day at leaving all of those in the past to create a peace of mind (aka I pray, a LOT). This method works, I promise you that. (here for u, DM me if u wanna talk.)

short story:

I had an interview today, and going into it I wasn’t anxious at all. Wait, what? I felt confident? YAY. The man interviewing me didn’t ask questions… he literally held a conversation with me. Sneaking q’s in here n’ there, but it felt so normal. Then came that one part where they ask you what your weakness is — we all know how that goes. I’ve gotten good at not rushing this, though. Kept a steady mind, and took a mental search through my minimal work experience to find where I struggle most;

confrontation.

..usually paired with negative situations, right? *Wrong answer, pls try again*. This doesn’t always have to be rude, mean, b*tchy or cynical!!!! In any situation, you can keep it kind, light-hearted. Always try your best to be NICE. Nothing I’ll preach more in this life, I swear kindness is a form of magic.

*anyways*

“I never want to make anyone feel bad!”, is what I told him, kinda laughing nervously at this point because this is how you get walked on. (Trust me, that’s my strong suit baby. & *disclaimer* I’m not going to sit here and brag about that. I’ve got a few footprints on my heart, and maybe you do too but, PROTECT IT.)

But then he goes, “or is it that you don’t want to hurt your OWN feelings..”

woah.

do you ever really think of it that way? like ok, do you think that you’re going to actually hurt this perfect stranger’s feelings? The reality of it is we’re more afraid of how it will make US feel, so we avoid it. I’ll tell you that all along I truly felt afraid of confrontation because it has always seemed negative to me, and I thought I was afraid of what the person on the other hand would think…but all along it’s been me.

Me holding myself back from anything I’d ever want. If you can’t stand for what you want in life, you’ll clearly never get it. The tiniest things add the heck up.

Ever been to a restaurant and the server brings you the wrong order? Do you speak up or “feel bad” saying something so, you eat it anyway?

I always say screw it if they forgot my side of ranch, or my refill. Because I “feel bad”, but because I didn’t speak up, I didn’t get what I wanted.

That’s the example he gave me and I was blown out of the water with how simple and strong it was.

freakin fear, man.

Today it was raining, but it felt sunny because I had this beam of faith/confidence going into wanting this position, and to then learn something coming out of it, too? Golden. I left with such a full heart from this conversation about fear that I wanted to share (not even going to call it an interview at this point). God’s good, y’all.

Thankfully, my past doubts have led me here, beat me down to later prove to myself that I’ve got this life thing, I simply have to believe a bit stronger than I did the day before.

Personal goal: caring more for + giving focus to the person on the OTHER end.

(….and sometimes YOU are the person on the other end.)

God can be in that doubt sometimes, He’s winkin’.

I hope this made sense.

stay peachy xo

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